In the Wrong House, chapter 4
Dec. 1st, 2011 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starfishstarIN THE WRONG HOUSE (chapter 4)
Summary:
Sirius Black, Remus thought, was just as arrogant and annoying as James Potter, and he wished the two of them would stop getting into fights. Because Remus kept finding himself stepping in to stop them, and calling that kind of attention to himself was really the last thing he needed during his first year at Hogwarts.
It didn't matter if they were unpredictable Blacks or show-off Potters, or even someone harmless like Peter Pettigrew. None of these boys could be his friends, and it was time Remus started remembering it.
He didn't mind, Remus told himself. He didn't need friends.
Characters: Remus, James, Sirius, Peter and supporting cast
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 + epilogue
Story:
CHAPTER FOUR
Only four of them in the dormitory over the holidays meant there was less of a buffer between James and Sirius, but they surprised everyone by managing more or less to get along.
The four of them played Gobstones a couple times with a brand new set Peter had got as an early Christmas present, or James and Peter chatted about Quidditch in front of the fire, or James and Sirius argued over what was and was not an appropriate name for a post owl, while Remus sat nearby and read ahead to the parts of their classes he knew he'd be too tired to focus on after the upcoming term's full moons.
A holiday away from home seemed to put Sirius in a very good mood, and he shared more about his family in the first few days of break than Remus had heard him say all term, generally tossed out in small anecdotes he didn't even seem to realise might strike others as bizarre.
"My cousin Bella used to take her sister Cissy and swing her round upside down by her heels," Sirius was telling Peter at breakfast the day before Christmas, after Peter had told a completely unrelated story about some of his own cousins. "Especially at Christmas, because then all the sweets she was hiding in her dress would fall out and she'd get in trouble with their mum for stealing like a commoner."
"Didn't Bella ever get in trouble for abusing her sister?" Remus put in from two seats down, his impetuous mouth getting the better of him as usual.
"Nah," Sirius shrugged. "Her parents think she's so clever, they never complain about anything she does."
"That explains so much," James muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that, you know, your cousin's a bit of a sociopath, isn't she?"
"Hey. No, she's not."
"You said she's always threatening to kill you."
"Yeah, but still."
"Still what?"
"She's still family."
James rolled his eyes. "Oh, well. Okay then." He shoved his bench back from the table. "I'm gonna go ask Madam Hooch if I can take out one of the school brooms for a bit. Pete, wanna come?"
Peter hurried to follow James out of the Great Hall, leaving Sirius and Remus in awkward silence.
James was thwarted, though, by Madam Hooch's strict policy against lending school brooms outside of flying lessons or Quidditch practices, even during the holidays. "You just wait till I'm allowed to bring my own broom," James could be heard to mutter as he stomped back into the castle, Peter still trailing at his heels.
Instead, by afternoon James had managed to instigate an all-out, inter-house snowball battle on the lawn among the first and second-years, and even Remus found himself roped in.
"Merlin's beard, you've got a good arm!" James gasped, after Remus landed yet another snowball directly between James' shoulder blades. "You wouldn't think it, since you look so weedy." And James scampered off again to harry the small contingent of Ravenclaws before Remus could work out whether to be flattered or insulted.
Christmas morning, Remus woke to find a small pile of presents at the foot of his bed. He was mostly able to block out the others' squeals of glee in tearing through their much larger piles, as he opened his own gifts slowly, folding the wrapping paper carefully and setting it aside.
There had never been much money, though Remus got the sense things hadn't been quite so tight before managing Remus' condition became his parents' primary activity, and that sense was only strengthened by his parents' insistence that there was not even a grain of truth to the idea. But his family had always been creative about gift-giving.
There were thoughtfully selected books, used but not overly worn, that Remus could already tell would become new favourites, and warm woollen things his mother had knitted herself. Also, he saw with a twinge of guilt, a full set of refills for his potions kit, which probably had been expensive.
James groaned with envy when he saw Peter's new flying cape, while Sirius eyed James' glossy picture encyclopaedia of every Quidditch match ever played. For all Sirius moaned about his parents, they certainly hadn't forgotten him at Christmastime, though their presents – a stunningly expensive set of dress robes, a silver chalice embossed with an ornate letter "B" – were not really things a 12-year-old boy could enjoy.
Christmas dinner was the best meal Remus had had at Hogwarts yet, and that was saying something. All the students who had stayed for the break got to pull as many crackers as they liked, and somehow Dumbledore convinced the staff table to sing along on a round of carols. Remus hadn't even realised Christmas didn't have to be a stressful time of treading carefully around others' strained nerves.
After they'd all eaten as much as they could hold, he watched the other three boys from his dormitory push back their benches and stand up, still laughing over something Peter had said.
Maybe it was good enough, Remus thought, to have people around you who perhaps didn't actually like you, but at least didn't actively dislike you. And there was something to be said for people who didn't care about you, but also didn't hover in constant worry. That was probably enough to be grateful for.
James paused on his way to the door out of the Great Hall, looking back with his brow furrowed. "Remus? Are you coming?"
Remus almost choked on his last bite of chocolate gateau and stumbled after James.
– – – – –
The next morning, James was nowhere to be seen, and it occurred to Remus that this had been happening a lot. Sirius and Peter could generally be found somewhere between the common room, the Great Hall and the kitchens, but James sometimes just vanished into thin air.
Remus was reading behind the curtains of his bed that evening, when he heard James burst into the dormitory and shout, "Guess what I found!" Then James stopped abruptly, and Remus knew he'd found himself addressing Sirius and Sirius alone.
"What did you find?" came Sirius' voice.
"Uh...nothing. Thought it looked like it might be the opening to some kind of passageway, but it's probably nothing."
Peter's voice joined in from the vicinity of the door. "You found a secret passageway? Really? Where does it go? Will you show us?"
James hesitated, but the urge to show off was clearly gaining the upper hand over his usual reserve toward Sirius. "Uh-huh. You know that creepy statue of a one-eyed witch? There's this kind of crack in the wall behind it that looks like it could be something, but I can't figure out how to get it open."
"Cool," Peter breathed.
"Cool," Sirius admitted.
"You can come along with me, if you want," James offered. "I'm going to have another go at it, see if maybe there's a secret password or a certain spell you have to say."
"When can we go?" Peter wanted to know. "Tonight?"
"Sure," James said.
Remus popped his head out between his curtains to remind them, "You can't go at night, there's curfew. You'll get caught."
Three surprised faces turned his way.
Sirius spoke first. "Has it really taken you an entire term to figure out that nobody else cares about curfew?"
"Doesn't matter," James said, "We can still go at night, 'cause I've got –" But then he stopped. "You know what, maybe that's a better idea. If we go tomorrow afternoon, we don't have to worry about getting caught, so we can take all the time we need. There's no rule that says students can't hang out in a corridor if they feel like it."
Sirius gave him a quizzical look. "Because you've got – what?"
Remus too had the sense James had been about to reveal something, but then thought better of it.
"I've got loads of experience in stealth and going round at night without being heard, but I don't know how well you lot'll do," James answered smoothly. "Remus is right, I'll show you all tomorrow. Then maybe Remus will even come with us. What do you say?"
It took Remus a moment to realise James was talking to him. "Oh, yes, okay," he said.
"Great," Sirius grumbled. "Mention something like that and then leave us hanging. What are we supposed to do now?"
James gave them all an impish smile. "Did I forget to mention that the elves brought up a tray of treacle tart from the kitchens for all of Gryffindor tower? Because their very favourite Gryffindor asked them to?"
Remus was surprised no one got injured in the mad three-way dash that ensued through the dormitory door.
– – – – –
The next afternoon, Remus trailed along cautiously behind James and Sirius and Peter. No, there was no rule that students couldn't spend time in one of Hogwarts' many corridors, especially during a school break, but it still seemed uncomfortably close to rule-breaking. Surely first-years weren't allowed to find secret passageways?
"Here," James said, after he'd led them down a third-floor corridor to the statue in question. "See what I mean? There's that kind of line down the stones that doesn't look quite like it's part of the wall, but I can't get it to open." He tapped his wand against the wall and muttered a series of spells, Alohomora and Aperio and a couple others Remus suspected he had made up just for show.
"Try tapping on the statue," Sirius suggested. "It looks kind of off-kilter, so maybe it can move."
Sirius repeated James' spells while tapping the witch on her head and humped back and even on the face. Peter, too, gave it a few cautious tries.
Remus, meanwhile, was flipping through the book he'd brought along. Sirius was the one who first turned and noticed. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Well, we're looking for a charm, aren't we?" Remus asked, holding up his copy of their Charms textbook. "How about this: Dissendium." He tapped the witch's hump, which sprang open and revealed a passageway behind it.
Peter stared down the dark passageway. James and Sirius goggled at Remus, who explained, "I was just thinking about the verb dissocio, which means 'to part'."
"Not bad, mate," James said, finally.
Sirius was already pushing ahead, peering into the passageway, which seemed to descend steeply behind the statue. "You lot ready to explore?" he asked.
Peter nodded uncertainly.
"I'll lead," James said, managing to insert himself between Sirius and the opening.
That was how they went, with James first, Sirius hot on his heels, Peter shadowing Sirius, and Remus bringing up the rear, glancing frequently over his shoulder.
The passageway finally dead-ended at a trapdoor. James glanced back at them, then pushed it open and they all climbed through to what appeared to be the cellar of a shop.
"Where are we?" James breathed.
"Must be Hogsmeade," Sirius said.
"Yeah, obviously," James replied. "But where in Hogsmeade?"
"Honeydukes," Peter answered.
Sirius and James spun around to face him. "And you know how?" Sirius asked.
Peter pointed to the crates of goods that surrounded them. "Pepper Imps? Toothflossing Stringmints? Those are Honeydukes products. And they have a branch in Hogsmeade, my parents took me there once."
"Free sweets!" Sirius declared. "As much as we can carry!"
"No," Remus said. "You can't just nick stuff from here."
"No," James said, almost simultaneously. "What are you going to tell people when they ask where you got it all from? It's a secret passageway, remember?"
"Maybe just a few?" Peter asked.
James wavered. "Okay, a few. Just a pocketful."
"And leave money to pay for them!" Remus yelped.
"Yeah, yeah," James said, but Remus saw him drop a few coins on the floor, while Sirius and Peter ran around the cellar, laughing in delight and filling their pockets.
"Keep quiet," Remus mumbled, but no one listened to him.
"Come on," James said finally. "D'you want to see anything else or do you just want to stuff your faces?"
"Just stuff our faces, I think," Peter laughed.
James rolled his eyes. "I bet we can get upstairs from here, and into the village. We'll be the only first-years to go to Hogsmeade!"
"Except for all of us first-years who've been here before with our families," Sirius smirked. "Sheltered childhood, huh, James?"
"Shut up," James said. "And anyway, I bet my parents –"
"Actually –" Sirius began.
"Shh!" Peter interrupted them both. "Is that someone upstairs?"
They all froze at what sounded very much like footsteps above.
"More exploring next time!" James decreed and rushed them back through the trapdoor, pulling it shut behind them.
He took off down the passageway at a run. The rest of them followed, and they didn't stop running for a good five or ten minutes. James finally slowed, then leant against the tunnel wall, panting. "Brilliant, huh?" he asked. "Our own secret passageway into Hogsmeade. You all have to swear you won't tell anyone else, okay?"
Peter and Sirius nodded. James turned to Remus, who hesitantly nodded too.
James grinned, satisfied. Then he shouted, "Last one back is a rotten Doxy's egg!" and tore off again towards the castle.
Sirius roared and gave chase, while Peter and Remus jogged along more slowly after them.
"This is great, huh, Remus?" Peter asked, eyes shining in the glow of their lit wands.
Remus wasn't sure what to say.
– – – – –
James still disappeared on his own sometimes, but more often now, he took Peter along when he went exploring, or sometimes even Sirius. All three of them seemed to be born magnets for trouble, and in the weeks of the Christmas holidays, it seemed they were forever just barely slipping away before getting caught somewhere they weren't supposed to be. Remus was seriously going to develop bad posture just from all the times he had to bend his head over a book or his breakfast, pretending not to see what they others were up to.
All the while, Remus' internal monologue seemed to be stuck on repeat: Tell on them before they get themselves in serious trouble. Don't tell, they'll hate me for it. Doesn't matter, it's not like I'm ever going to be friends with them.
But I want to have friends.
No, you don't.
James and Sirius, meanwhile, seemed to be stuck on a repeat cycle of their own, where they would manage to get on for a few days at a stretch, then begin to bicker again.
One afternoon near the end of Christmas break, Sirius came into the dorm wearing an enormous grin and dropped an armful of sweets onto his bed, tossing a few Chocolate Frogs at the rest of them.
"Is that – You can't –" James spluttered. "You can't just go down there without telling me!"
"Are you serious? I can't go down a passageway without telling you? It's not like you own it."
"But I found it! And we figured it out all together! You can't just go using it for your – your –personal gain."
"For the love of all the sidhe of Ireland," Sirius grumbled. "If I'd known you were going to be a baby about it, I'd have found my own secret passageway. There must be dozens of them around here. Actually, that's what I'll do, I'll just go find one of my own."
James spluttered some more, but before he got an answer out, Remus simply put a pillow over his head and went back to his book. He'd heard it all ten times before.
When term started and the others came back, James seemed relieved. He went back to spending time with Alvin and Tristan, often trailing Peter in his wake, or joined Ben and his Ravenclaw mates.
The main difference was that, while Peter still had a strong tendency to follow James around when he had the opportunity, now whenever he didn't, Sirius claimed him. Remus didn't even notice it at first, but one day that spring he looked up and realised how often he saw Sirius and Peter sitting together at meals, in class or even in the library, where Sirius, like James, never condescended to actually revise, but if pressed, would sometimes help Peter. In between bouts of taking the mickey out of him, of course.
Remus supposed Sirius and Peter had more in common than anyone had seen at first, both of them from privileged, pureblood backgrounds, though Peter's parents certainly didn't command the wealth and status Sirius' did.
And where Sirius' friendships with James and Remus in later years were more complex – he and James both antagonising and defending one another like brothers, and Sirius' attitude toward Remus so often torn between protectiveness and exasperation – Sirius and Peter's friendship remained the uncomplicated thing it was in those first few months, the rebel and the sidekick, neither needing to make it be something more.
Remus, though, with his astute eye for recognising the needs of everyone but himself, saw pieces missing.
James was a natural leader who could have found friends and followers inside a cast iron cauldron. But Remus thought he had more fun when he let Sirius in, because Sirius was his equal.
Sirius, with his prickly pride, needed someone who could challenge but balance him. As much as he could still sometimes be heard to mutter half-hearted imprecations about James' general uselessness, Remus was sure Sirius missed the camaraderie they'd shared during the strange, friendly thaw that had been Christmas.
Peter, it turned out, came more and more out of his shell the more time he spent with Sirius, but Remus could tell he missed the security of being part of a group.
There was less mischief in Gryffindor Tower during the term, but also a little less fun. And gradually the quietest member of the first-year boys' dormitory, quite to his own surprise, started to wonder if it might not be worth a little more trouble for a little more laughter.
(continues in CHAPTER 5)
Summary:
Sirius Black, Remus thought, was just as arrogant and annoying as James Potter, and he wished the two of them would stop getting into fights. Because Remus kept finding himself stepping in to stop them, and calling that kind of attention to himself was really the last thing he needed during his first year at Hogwarts.
It didn't matter if they were unpredictable Blacks or show-off Potters, or even someone harmless like Peter Pettigrew. None of these boys could be his friends, and it was time Remus started remembering it.
He didn't mind, Remus told himself. He didn't need friends.
Characters: Remus, James, Sirius, Peter and supporting cast
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 + epilogue
Story:
CHAPTER FOUR
Only four of them in the dormitory over the holidays meant there was less of a buffer between James and Sirius, but they surprised everyone by managing more or less to get along.
The four of them played Gobstones a couple times with a brand new set Peter had got as an early Christmas present, or James and Peter chatted about Quidditch in front of the fire, or James and Sirius argued over what was and was not an appropriate name for a post owl, while Remus sat nearby and read ahead to the parts of their classes he knew he'd be too tired to focus on after the upcoming term's full moons.
A holiday away from home seemed to put Sirius in a very good mood, and he shared more about his family in the first few days of break than Remus had heard him say all term, generally tossed out in small anecdotes he didn't even seem to realise might strike others as bizarre.
"My cousin Bella used to take her sister Cissy and swing her round upside down by her heels," Sirius was telling Peter at breakfast the day before Christmas, after Peter had told a completely unrelated story about some of his own cousins. "Especially at Christmas, because then all the sweets she was hiding in her dress would fall out and she'd get in trouble with their mum for stealing like a commoner."
"Didn't Bella ever get in trouble for abusing her sister?" Remus put in from two seats down, his impetuous mouth getting the better of him as usual.
"Nah," Sirius shrugged. "Her parents think she's so clever, they never complain about anything she does."
"That explains so much," James muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that, you know, your cousin's a bit of a sociopath, isn't she?"
"Hey. No, she's not."
"You said she's always threatening to kill you."
"Yeah, but still."
"Still what?"
"She's still family."
James rolled his eyes. "Oh, well. Okay then." He shoved his bench back from the table. "I'm gonna go ask Madam Hooch if I can take out one of the school brooms for a bit. Pete, wanna come?"
Peter hurried to follow James out of the Great Hall, leaving Sirius and Remus in awkward silence.
James was thwarted, though, by Madam Hooch's strict policy against lending school brooms outside of flying lessons or Quidditch practices, even during the holidays. "You just wait till I'm allowed to bring my own broom," James could be heard to mutter as he stomped back into the castle, Peter still trailing at his heels.
Instead, by afternoon James had managed to instigate an all-out, inter-house snowball battle on the lawn among the first and second-years, and even Remus found himself roped in.
"Merlin's beard, you've got a good arm!" James gasped, after Remus landed yet another snowball directly between James' shoulder blades. "You wouldn't think it, since you look so weedy." And James scampered off again to harry the small contingent of Ravenclaws before Remus could work out whether to be flattered or insulted.
Christmas morning, Remus woke to find a small pile of presents at the foot of his bed. He was mostly able to block out the others' squeals of glee in tearing through their much larger piles, as he opened his own gifts slowly, folding the wrapping paper carefully and setting it aside.
There had never been much money, though Remus got the sense things hadn't been quite so tight before managing Remus' condition became his parents' primary activity, and that sense was only strengthened by his parents' insistence that there was not even a grain of truth to the idea. But his family had always been creative about gift-giving.
There were thoughtfully selected books, used but not overly worn, that Remus could already tell would become new favourites, and warm woollen things his mother had knitted herself. Also, he saw with a twinge of guilt, a full set of refills for his potions kit, which probably had been expensive.
James groaned with envy when he saw Peter's new flying cape, while Sirius eyed James' glossy picture encyclopaedia of every Quidditch match ever played. For all Sirius moaned about his parents, they certainly hadn't forgotten him at Christmastime, though their presents – a stunningly expensive set of dress robes, a silver chalice embossed with an ornate letter "B" – were not really things a 12-year-old boy could enjoy.
Christmas dinner was the best meal Remus had had at Hogwarts yet, and that was saying something. All the students who had stayed for the break got to pull as many crackers as they liked, and somehow Dumbledore convinced the staff table to sing along on a round of carols. Remus hadn't even realised Christmas didn't have to be a stressful time of treading carefully around others' strained nerves.
After they'd all eaten as much as they could hold, he watched the other three boys from his dormitory push back their benches and stand up, still laughing over something Peter had said.
Maybe it was good enough, Remus thought, to have people around you who perhaps didn't actually like you, but at least didn't actively dislike you. And there was something to be said for people who didn't care about you, but also didn't hover in constant worry. That was probably enough to be grateful for.
James paused on his way to the door out of the Great Hall, looking back with his brow furrowed. "Remus? Are you coming?"
Remus almost choked on his last bite of chocolate gateau and stumbled after James.
– – – – –
The next morning, James was nowhere to be seen, and it occurred to Remus that this had been happening a lot. Sirius and Peter could generally be found somewhere between the common room, the Great Hall and the kitchens, but James sometimes just vanished into thin air.
Remus was reading behind the curtains of his bed that evening, when he heard James burst into the dormitory and shout, "Guess what I found!" Then James stopped abruptly, and Remus knew he'd found himself addressing Sirius and Sirius alone.
"What did you find?" came Sirius' voice.
"Uh...nothing. Thought it looked like it might be the opening to some kind of passageway, but it's probably nothing."
Peter's voice joined in from the vicinity of the door. "You found a secret passageway? Really? Where does it go? Will you show us?"
James hesitated, but the urge to show off was clearly gaining the upper hand over his usual reserve toward Sirius. "Uh-huh. You know that creepy statue of a one-eyed witch? There's this kind of crack in the wall behind it that looks like it could be something, but I can't figure out how to get it open."
"Cool," Peter breathed.
"Cool," Sirius admitted.
"You can come along with me, if you want," James offered. "I'm going to have another go at it, see if maybe there's a secret password or a certain spell you have to say."
"When can we go?" Peter wanted to know. "Tonight?"
"Sure," James said.
Remus popped his head out between his curtains to remind them, "You can't go at night, there's curfew. You'll get caught."
Three surprised faces turned his way.
Sirius spoke first. "Has it really taken you an entire term to figure out that nobody else cares about curfew?"
"Doesn't matter," James said, "We can still go at night, 'cause I've got –" But then he stopped. "You know what, maybe that's a better idea. If we go tomorrow afternoon, we don't have to worry about getting caught, so we can take all the time we need. There's no rule that says students can't hang out in a corridor if they feel like it."
Sirius gave him a quizzical look. "Because you've got – what?"
Remus too had the sense James had been about to reveal something, but then thought better of it.
"I've got loads of experience in stealth and going round at night without being heard, but I don't know how well you lot'll do," James answered smoothly. "Remus is right, I'll show you all tomorrow. Then maybe Remus will even come with us. What do you say?"
It took Remus a moment to realise James was talking to him. "Oh, yes, okay," he said.
"Great," Sirius grumbled. "Mention something like that and then leave us hanging. What are we supposed to do now?"
James gave them all an impish smile. "Did I forget to mention that the elves brought up a tray of treacle tart from the kitchens for all of Gryffindor tower? Because their very favourite Gryffindor asked them to?"
Remus was surprised no one got injured in the mad three-way dash that ensued through the dormitory door.
– – – – –
The next afternoon, Remus trailed along cautiously behind James and Sirius and Peter. No, there was no rule that students couldn't spend time in one of Hogwarts' many corridors, especially during a school break, but it still seemed uncomfortably close to rule-breaking. Surely first-years weren't allowed to find secret passageways?
"Here," James said, after he'd led them down a third-floor corridor to the statue in question. "See what I mean? There's that kind of line down the stones that doesn't look quite like it's part of the wall, but I can't get it to open." He tapped his wand against the wall and muttered a series of spells, Alohomora and Aperio and a couple others Remus suspected he had made up just for show.
"Try tapping on the statue," Sirius suggested. "It looks kind of off-kilter, so maybe it can move."
Sirius repeated James' spells while tapping the witch on her head and humped back and even on the face. Peter, too, gave it a few cautious tries.
Remus, meanwhile, was flipping through the book he'd brought along. Sirius was the one who first turned and noticed. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Well, we're looking for a charm, aren't we?" Remus asked, holding up his copy of their Charms textbook. "How about this: Dissendium." He tapped the witch's hump, which sprang open and revealed a passageway behind it.
Peter stared down the dark passageway. James and Sirius goggled at Remus, who explained, "I was just thinking about the verb dissocio, which means 'to part'."
"Not bad, mate," James said, finally.
Sirius was already pushing ahead, peering into the passageway, which seemed to descend steeply behind the statue. "You lot ready to explore?" he asked.
Peter nodded uncertainly.
"I'll lead," James said, managing to insert himself between Sirius and the opening.
That was how they went, with James first, Sirius hot on his heels, Peter shadowing Sirius, and Remus bringing up the rear, glancing frequently over his shoulder.
The passageway finally dead-ended at a trapdoor. James glanced back at them, then pushed it open and they all climbed through to what appeared to be the cellar of a shop.
"Where are we?" James breathed.
"Must be Hogsmeade," Sirius said.
"Yeah, obviously," James replied. "But where in Hogsmeade?"
"Honeydukes," Peter answered.
Sirius and James spun around to face him. "And you know how?" Sirius asked.
Peter pointed to the crates of goods that surrounded them. "Pepper Imps? Toothflossing Stringmints? Those are Honeydukes products. And they have a branch in Hogsmeade, my parents took me there once."
"Free sweets!" Sirius declared. "As much as we can carry!"
"No," Remus said. "You can't just nick stuff from here."
"No," James said, almost simultaneously. "What are you going to tell people when they ask where you got it all from? It's a secret passageway, remember?"
"Maybe just a few?" Peter asked.
James wavered. "Okay, a few. Just a pocketful."
"And leave money to pay for them!" Remus yelped.
"Yeah, yeah," James said, but Remus saw him drop a few coins on the floor, while Sirius and Peter ran around the cellar, laughing in delight and filling their pockets.
"Keep quiet," Remus mumbled, but no one listened to him.
"Come on," James said finally. "D'you want to see anything else or do you just want to stuff your faces?"
"Just stuff our faces, I think," Peter laughed.
James rolled his eyes. "I bet we can get upstairs from here, and into the village. We'll be the only first-years to go to Hogsmeade!"
"Except for all of us first-years who've been here before with our families," Sirius smirked. "Sheltered childhood, huh, James?"
"Shut up," James said. "And anyway, I bet my parents –"
"Actually –" Sirius began.
"Shh!" Peter interrupted them both. "Is that someone upstairs?"
They all froze at what sounded very much like footsteps above.
"More exploring next time!" James decreed and rushed them back through the trapdoor, pulling it shut behind them.
He took off down the passageway at a run. The rest of them followed, and they didn't stop running for a good five or ten minutes. James finally slowed, then leant against the tunnel wall, panting. "Brilliant, huh?" he asked. "Our own secret passageway into Hogsmeade. You all have to swear you won't tell anyone else, okay?"
Peter and Sirius nodded. James turned to Remus, who hesitantly nodded too.
James grinned, satisfied. Then he shouted, "Last one back is a rotten Doxy's egg!" and tore off again towards the castle.
Sirius roared and gave chase, while Peter and Remus jogged along more slowly after them.
"This is great, huh, Remus?" Peter asked, eyes shining in the glow of their lit wands.
Remus wasn't sure what to say.
– – – – –
James still disappeared on his own sometimes, but more often now, he took Peter along when he went exploring, or sometimes even Sirius. All three of them seemed to be born magnets for trouble, and in the weeks of the Christmas holidays, it seemed they were forever just barely slipping away before getting caught somewhere they weren't supposed to be. Remus was seriously going to develop bad posture just from all the times he had to bend his head over a book or his breakfast, pretending not to see what they others were up to.
All the while, Remus' internal monologue seemed to be stuck on repeat: Tell on them before they get themselves in serious trouble. Don't tell, they'll hate me for it. Doesn't matter, it's not like I'm ever going to be friends with them.
But I want to have friends.
No, you don't.
James and Sirius, meanwhile, seemed to be stuck on a repeat cycle of their own, where they would manage to get on for a few days at a stretch, then begin to bicker again.
One afternoon near the end of Christmas break, Sirius came into the dorm wearing an enormous grin and dropped an armful of sweets onto his bed, tossing a few Chocolate Frogs at the rest of them.
"Is that – You can't –" James spluttered. "You can't just go down there without telling me!"
"Are you serious? I can't go down a passageway without telling you? It's not like you own it."
"But I found it! And we figured it out all together! You can't just go using it for your – your –personal gain."
"For the love of all the sidhe of Ireland," Sirius grumbled. "If I'd known you were going to be a baby about it, I'd have found my own secret passageway. There must be dozens of them around here. Actually, that's what I'll do, I'll just go find one of my own."
James spluttered some more, but before he got an answer out, Remus simply put a pillow over his head and went back to his book. He'd heard it all ten times before.
When term started and the others came back, James seemed relieved. He went back to spending time with Alvin and Tristan, often trailing Peter in his wake, or joined Ben and his Ravenclaw mates.
The main difference was that, while Peter still had a strong tendency to follow James around when he had the opportunity, now whenever he didn't, Sirius claimed him. Remus didn't even notice it at first, but one day that spring he looked up and realised how often he saw Sirius and Peter sitting together at meals, in class or even in the library, where Sirius, like James, never condescended to actually revise, but if pressed, would sometimes help Peter. In between bouts of taking the mickey out of him, of course.
Remus supposed Sirius and Peter had more in common than anyone had seen at first, both of them from privileged, pureblood backgrounds, though Peter's parents certainly didn't command the wealth and status Sirius' did.
And where Sirius' friendships with James and Remus in later years were more complex – he and James both antagonising and defending one another like brothers, and Sirius' attitude toward Remus so often torn between protectiveness and exasperation – Sirius and Peter's friendship remained the uncomplicated thing it was in those first few months, the rebel and the sidekick, neither needing to make it be something more.
Remus, though, with his astute eye for recognising the needs of everyone but himself, saw pieces missing.
James was a natural leader who could have found friends and followers inside a cast iron cauldron. But Remus thought he had more fun when he let Sirius in, because Sirius was his equal.
Sirius, with his prickly pride, needed someone who could challenge but balance him. As much as he could still sometimes be heard to mutter half-hearted imprecations about James' general uselessness, Remus was sure Sirius missed the camaraderie they'd shared during the strange, friendly thaw that had been Christmas.
Peter, it turned out, came more and more out of his shell the more time he spent with Sirius, but Remus could tell he missed the security of being part of a group.
There was less mischief in Gryffindor Tower during the term, but also a little less fun. And gradually the quietest member of the first-year boys' dormitory, quite to his own surprise, started to wonder if it might not be worth a little more trouble for a little more laughter.
(continues in CHAPTER 5)
