There Are Days (Torchwood)

[starfishstar]

THERE ARE DAYS 

Summary:

Sometimes Jack gets lost in how much he has lived through, how much he has lost.

Ianto always finds him.


Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto, with mentions of other characters
(set any nebulous time with the full team during the run of the show, and also CoE never happens, yes?)

Words: 600

Rating: PG-13

Notes: I was processing some feelings of my own, and they came out as Jack Harkness.

(A set of interconnected drabbles about Jack, Ianto, and im/mortality. Angsty topics, I suppose, but overall loving and hopeful.)

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I. Jack

There are days when Jack’s heart feels tender and swollen, a bruised organ so large his body can barely contain it.

He has loved so many people. He has lost so many people.

Days like these, he’ll stand looking out over Cardiff Bay, hands shoved deep in his pockets, wind in his hair, and the beauty of this world hurts.

Somehow, Ianto always finds him. With a quip or a coffee or the devastating quirk of one eyebrow that never fails to drive Jack wild, he comes and coaxes Jack back into the world of the living, the world of now.

 

II. Ianto

“I’m not actually an immortal with an endless supply of time, sir, much as you like to forget it.” The words flash out in a moment of annoyance, one of those days when Jack is demanding six things at once, and meanwhile Owen’s yelling from the medical bay, wanting Ianto’s attention.

Jack laughs his big guffaw, takes his larger-than-life posture with his shoulders thrown back and his smile a thousand watts. The more Jack feels, the more he acts like he doesn’t. “That’s probably a good thing,” he purrs. “The world couldn’t handle more than one of me.”

But when Jack thinks no one’s watching, Ianto sees how eternity gapes ahead of him, alone and endless.

All he ever wants is to ease that emptiness for Jack, even if only for a heartbeat or two.

 

III. Jack

He doesn’t visit Flat Holm on anything like a regular schedule, yet Ianto always knows. Each time Jack returns to the Hub, shoulders tight and heart heavy, Ianto slips up behind him, whispering surprisingly filthy suggestions in his ear, or just cajoling Jack back to his flat with promises of food. And then, once Ianto’s caught him in that easy domesticity, he turns his attentions on Jack with single-minded intensity, until Jack is left limp and warm and sated, pondering nothing weightier than whether he’ll be able to slip out of bed in the morning and secretly make Ianto breakfast.

 

IV. Ianto

The funny thing is, he never thought about age until he met Jack. Ianto didn’t think of himself as young, or old, or anything in particular. He was too busy escaping his family, making a name at Torchwood One, falling in love with Lisa.

Then grieving as his world fell apart. That too.

Until Jack, Ianto never looked around, compared himself to others, and thought, I’m only in my twenties, there’s so much I don’t know.

But also, until Jack, Ianto never had cause to feel ancient, possessed of a strange and hard-fought wisdom, like he could stare out into the multitude of the universe and contain it all within himself.

Because Jack Harkness – immortal, improbable, impossibly fearless Jack Harkness – has moments when he crumbles. Sometimes for a flash of a moment Jack is a terrified child, lost inside all that he has lost.

Being the arms that enfold Jack then, Ianto feels as old and strong and sternly immovable as the universe itself.

 

V. Jack

There’s fog over the dark bay, swirling under the streetlamps.

Ianto’s step is light, but Jack always hears him.

“Shouldn’t you have gone home hours ago?” Jack asks with a grin.

“Mmm,” Ianto murmurs. “Some would say our boss sets a bad example.” He slides his arms around Jack from behind. “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now, too, sir?”

Jack chuckles, turning his head to meet Ianto’s ear. “Set a good example for me, then, Ianto,” he whispers.

There are days when Jack Harkness, who once had all of time and space, wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here.


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End note: Yeah, that's pretty much my Jack/Ianto headcanon...in case that wasn't already clear!