I really like it! The title is a wonderful double entendre, the imagery in the joke shop is creative and funny, and also, I am happy to see a great gen fic scene starring two awesome characters of color being awesome. You got your earnest conversation in there, too, but the backdrop being such a contrast gives this immense life. I'd love to see more fics from you in this vein! Perhaps a Weasley wartime la ronde? Ah, anyway, just wanted to express my gushing approval. I think you pushed yourself in just the right way (to do something in a more active/whimsical location, to include more background business), because the result is great. And you know what, I read a comment on ff.net that said this felt like canon, and I agree, and I think the reason is that Rowling very often does "two scenes at once" like this - a dramatic/political scene and a funny scene happening at the same time, and it creates a funny dissonance, but a dissonance that works, somehow. Maybe because in real life there are often multiple "tones" happening at once, funny and sad, or romantic and creepy, or whatever - one in the foreground and one in the background, but intertwining, too.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-03-29 02:52 pm (UTC)I really like it! The title is a wonderful double entendre, the imagery in the joke shop is creative and funny, and also, I am happy to see a great gen fic scene starring two awesome characters of color being awesome. You got your earnest conversation in there, too, but the backdrop being such a contrast gives this immense life. I'd love to see more fics from you in this vein! Perhaps a Weasley wartime la ronde? Ah, anyway, just wanted to express my gushing approval. I think you pushed yourself in just the right way (to do something in a more active/whimsical location, to include more background business), because the result is great. And you know what, I read a comment on ff.net that said this felt like canon, and I agree, and I think the reason is that Rowling very often does "two scenes at once" like this - a dramatic/political scene and a funny scene happening at the same time, and it creates a funny dissonance, but a dissonance that works, somehow. Maybe because in real life there are often multiple "tones" happening at once, funny and sad, or romantic and creepy, or whatever - one in the foreground and one in the background, but intertwining, too.
:)