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Fandom: We Are a Picturesque Small Town and We Refuse to Be the Setting for Your Romantic Comedy – Rachel Mans McKenny (McSweeney's)

Summary:

Hi friends! So, I know I mentioned to some of you that I'm going to be housesitting for my friend Natalie for a couple weeks. She and her husband live in this cute town called Spirit Falls and they needed someone to look after their cat while they're in France visiting her husband's family.

I'm headed there tomorrow—stay tuned!

Characters: OCs (and characters/entities mentioned in "We Are a Picturesque Small Town...")

Words: 4,465

Notes: Happy Yuletide, beautifulduckweed! How delighted was I to get assigned to write for you in this wonderful, silly, brand-new-shiny fandom? Very delighted, that's how. Thank you for your prompts, which gave me so many intriguing ideas to work with. Hope you enjoy!

Betaed by my friend A.

Additional notes as I'm posting this on Dreamwidth: This is the first time I wrote a fic in one of those super silly, super delightful "five-minute fandoms" (as in, a fandom in which you can familiarize yourself with the "canon," such as it is, in about five minutes) that get nominated for Yuletide, capture a lot of people's imaginations in that particular year and generate a lot of delight. Offering a fandom like this in my Yuletide sign-up was a bit of a stretch for me, since it's such an unknown, but it paid off handsomely because I indeed got matched on this fandom, with a recipient who offered a wealth of intriguing prompts, and it was such fun to play in fandom in such a new and unexpected way!


Read the fic on AO3, or here below:



*

 

Saturday, September 17
posted by Eve at 9:37 pm

Hi friends! So, I know I mentioned to some of you that I'm going to be housesitting for my friend Natalie for a couple weeks. She and her husband live in this cute town called Spirit Falls and they needed someone to look after their cat while they're in France visiting her husband's family. I jumped at the chance, since I'm between jobs right now and all, and I could do with a change of scenery.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to restart this mostly defunct “travel” blog (“travel” in quotation marks, because my property development job these last few years has been well paid, but goodness, it didn't leave me much time for travel!) as a way to tell you about my adventures in Spirit Falls.

I'm headed there tomorrow—stay tuned!

 

Sunday, September 18
posted by Eve at 6:12 pm

Wow, so, it turns out Spirit Falls' reputation is no joke, you guys!

Natalie, the friend I'm housesitting for, told me there have always been stories about how everyone falls in love in Spirit Falls, that people are constantly proposing and making grand gestures of affection, to the point that it's kind of a local legend... Nat said she didn't believe it was real, but then she moved here and on her first day she twisted her ankle putting up some drapes and the gorgeous doctor who treated her when she went to urgent care was Pierre and now they've been happily married for three years, so.

Still, I figured the stories must be a little bit exaggerated!

But today I went to the hardware store to get a screwdriver (weirdly, I couldn't find one anywhere at Nat's place) and I only spent about three minutes in the place but somehow in that time had a totally classic meet cute with a guy as he was reaching for something on a high shelf and I came around a corner too fast and bumped right into him. I'm not interested (seriously, I'm only here for two weeks, I'm not looking for romance! Although he was cute!) but it was pretty funny. We laughed about it and chatted for a bit, and then I went back to Nat's place. And discovered I couldn't remember why I'd even needed a screwdriver in the first place.

I also stumbled across a really romantic proposal in one of the downtown parks as I was walking around today, getting to know the town. This couple's friends were all set up in the picnic area in this little grove of trees, scattered around with blankets and picnic baskets and bottles of champagne, so when the one woman brought her girlfriend into the circle of trees everybody was already there having a big joyful picnic, and the first woman got down on one knee and proposed to the other woman, who of course burst into happy tears and said yes.

Later, I stopped at the Falls Inn (that's the bed and breakfast) because Natalie said they have some neat Art Deco designs in their entranceway. When I poked my head inside, the woman at the reception desk got all panicked and started telling me over and over that they don't have any beds. Not just that they're all booked up right now, she kept saying; they don't have any beds in the building at all. When I said I didn't need a place to stay, I was just looking at the art, she visibly relaxed. Weird.

All that, and it's still only early evening! Wait, and I think I hear music. It looks like there's a guy with a boombox outside the house next door? Gonna go have a look.

 

Monday, September 19
posted by Eve at 12:22 pm

Uh, okay guys, so Spirit Falls just keeps getting weirder and weirder. I mean, it's totally charming! It's the prettiest little town and everyone is super friendly—and I swear, even the weather is always perfect. Sunny but mild, crisp fall air, a gentle breeze blowing that rustles the leaves and makes everyone's hair fan out appealingly. At the same time it kind of makes you want to put on a scarf and wrap your hands around a steaming mug of tea, but also romp around in a field picking late-blooming wildflowers.

So it's a great place to be and I'm super not complaining about the lovely house I'm staying in and the sweet cat I get to hang out with and the hot, outdoorsy neighbor guy (at the house on the other side of Natalie and Pierre's place, not the house where somebody was being serenaded by boombox last night) who's been out on his front lawn all morning working on his lawnmower or something in a flannel shirt and tight jeans and he is definitely easy on the eyes. Sheesh, sorry, I got a little distracted there, what was I saying?

Right, I guess I just meant to say that Spirit Falls is so friendly and nice, but then suddenly people will be super intense about the weirdest things. Like, this morning I stopped by Town Hall to pay a bill (Natalie realized she'd made out a check but forgotten to drop it off before she left for France, so she texted asking if I could run it over there).

First, as soon as I got to Town Hall I had not one but TWO meet cutes (I think I'm starting to get used to it!) With one guy, it was when we both reached for the same pamphlet from a display rack in the lobby and our hands brushed. The other was when I'd found my way to the correct office for paying the bill, and a guy rushed out of the room just as I got there and bumped into me and made me spill a little of the coffee I was carrying. He was so apologetic and offered to take me out to coffee to make up for it, but I had stuff to get done and didn't really have time, so I told him it was okay.

(BTW that pamphlet I picked up had lots of fun Spirit Falls facts in it, all very earnestly presented: the town was incorporated in 1807; it used to border on a neighboring town called Spirit Glen until the valley was dammed in the 1910s to create a lake that separated the two; for four years in the 1970s the residents of Spirit Falls elected a cat as their mayor. This place is so stupidly charming and weird!)

Then, as I was on my way out of the building, I passed a conference room and a woman stuck her head out and said in this really intense way, “You're new here, right? Can you come to the Town Council meeting this evening??”

I have no idea why the council would want a newbie who's only a temporary visitor and knows nothing about Spirit Falls at their meeting, but she seemed so worried and upset that I said yes. So I guess tonight instead of staying in and watching Netflix with the cat, I'm going to the Spirit Falls Town Council meeting?

 

Monday, September 19
posted by Eve at 7:17 pm

Update to what I wrote earlier today:

So, just as I was getting ready to head over to the council meeting, which was supposed to be at 7 pm, I got a call from someone named Joan (I guess that's the woman who asked me to the meeting earlier today? but I don't know how she got my number?) who wanted to let me know that the meeting is postponed until tomorrow because they “need a little more time to get all of the documentation ready to show you.” With the “you” in that sentence meaning—me. The Spirit Falls Town Council has a lot of important documentation they need to show me.

??????

 

Tuesday, September 20
posted by Eve at 11:52 am

Okay, so THIS is funny. Seriously. I'm reaching the point where everything about Spirit Falls cracks me up!

I figured I'd wander over to see the waterfall this morning (waterfall = Spirit Falls, as in, the namesake of this town that is also called Spirit Falls). The tourist brochure I got at Town Hall raved about how picturesque it is. Although weirdly there was also a whole sidebar about how the waterfall is NOT an appropriate site for fulfilling bets, performing grand gestures, staging dramatic rescues... There was a whole list.

Obviously, I was curious to see this waterfall that's apparently really pretty to look at and inspires all these over-the-top actions.

I walked to the waterfall (it's right on the edge of town, and it was a lovely day) and it was indeed very pretty. For once, though, I didn't bump into anyone or get mistaken for anyone (did I mention that happened at the grocery store on my second day? somebody in the produce aisle insisted I looked just like his childhood best friend's little sister) or even witness any marriage proposals. There was nobody at the waterfall at all, in fact. I saw a few people strolling on the path on my way there, but nobody at the falls itself.

So that was kind of nice, and the waterfall was a peaceful spot to be. I sat for a bit and then also called my friend Mara back in New York to catch up and tell her about Spirit Falls and all the funny coincidences that keep happening and the whole weird thing about the council meeting, which is now going to be tonight.

And I guess all of these meet cutes that keep happening to me were on my mind, because I joked to Mara that it's funny how Spirit Falls has been throwing nothing but men my way, since I'm bi and you'd think if the town really were sentient, then it would know that and would present me with a full range of people I'm attracted to. Just joking, of course, you know, like I was pretending to take the whole everyone-falls-in-love-in-Spirit-Falls legend seriously!

But I swear to god, I stopped for coffee on my way back from the waterfall and the VERY FIRST THING THAT HAPPENED was that this kinda short, kinda butch, definitely very cute woman was coming out of the café as I was about to go in, and we did that awkward dance in the doorway where you try to go one way and the other person tries to go the same way and you accidentally end up in each other's way again and repeat and repeat. Somehow we both managed to drop something in the process—for her it was her wallet, for me, my keys—so it was all very chaotic there for a minute while we sorted ourselves out, and she was flustered and adorable and blurted out that she liked my earrings, and then she looked embarrassed and basically ran off.

Which was all super flattering and charming, but also: What the hell?

Because, I mention out loud for the first time in Spirit Falls that I'm bi, and then about seven minutes later I have a meet cute with a woman for the first time? Which, I know, I know, that's almost certainly just a coincidence. But it feels like it has significance, even though I know the world doesn't really work like that.

You know, I could almost buy that it's a deliberate thing, some sort of friendly conspiracy among the locals to orchestrate all these seemingly happenstance meetings and bolster their town's reputation as the place where everyone falls in love. Maybe for tourist purposes? Or even just for fun?

But there was no one at the waterfall who could possibly have heard me talking to Mara on the phone. Seriously, the sight lines are clear in all directions and there was definitely nobody there. And they couldn't have heard me over the rush of the waterfall anyway. So how the hell??

Anyway, Town Council meeting tonight. Maybe I'll finally learn something that makes sense about this weird place I've ended up!

 

Tuesday, September 20
posted by Eve at 11:03 pm

Huh. Wow.

 

Wednesday, September 21
posted by Eve at 2:24 pm

Sheesh, sorry, didn't mean to be so cryptic when I posted last night! I just needed some time to process everything before being able to write about it sensibly. Which I'm going to try to do now, though I still don't know how sensible it will sound!

So, I went to the meeting last night. As advertised, it was a session of the Spirit Falls Town Council. And as intimated, they seem to think that I might be the one who can break the Love Curse, which is how they refer to this thing of everyone within the town limits of Spirit Falls constantly falling in love.

Wait, clearly I need to back up a bit!

Okay, let's see:

There are nine members of the Town Council. That includes Joan, the woman who stopped me the other day when I was at Town Hall and asked me to this meeting. She's nice, if a little intense about this whole Spirit Falls Love Curse thing. I think she takes it kind of personally; she's divorced and has two young kids, and I get the sense she feels Spirit Falls pushed her into a relationship that wasn't right for her and that's why it ultimately didn't work out. Which sounds insane, I know! But after everything I've seen here, maybe not so insane?

Anyway, so they opened the meeting, introduced themselves, then launched into giving me the complete and LONG history of the “Love Curse.” Apparently this has been going on for at least a century? They've got all this documentation, charts, timelines, case histories—it's hard to argue with. And they say my rate of meet cutes and such since arriving in Spirit Falls has been off the charts. (I guess one of the Council members happened to be in the Town Hall lobby when I was there and saw one of the meet cutes I had, then realized they recognized me from some other incident earlier in the week as well, so they ran to tell the rest of the Council about me. Which I'm trying really hard not to find overly creepy, because I do know they didn't mean it that way.) They think that means Spirit Falls especially likes me, and so maybe that also means it would be willing to listen to me. They're all very earnest and nice-seeming people, and they truly believe their town is under a curse that causes people to fall in love.

Is it nuts that I find myself believing them?

I mean. Just on the walk over to Town Hall yesterday, I:

—Witnessed two people who clearly know each other from way back, but weren't expecting to see each other again, run into each other—literally—while both riding bicycles. They crashed into each other at very low speed (don't worry, everyone seemed to be fine) while they were both distracted: one was looking up at the clouds like they were composing poetry in their head, the other was on a cell phone having a conversation that was something about “no, but I'm going to bail out the family business whether they want me to or not.”

—Passed by a church where a wedding was clearly just finishing up and the bridal party was coming down the front steps; two men who looked to be part of the two different bridal parties (one in cornflower blue, the other in petal pink) were staring intensely at each other and then suddenly dashed across the distance between the two groups and started kissing passionately.

—Made it about five steps further on from the church, when a car with out-of-state plates screeched to a halt next to me and a guy jumped out and dashed into the next building with a massive bouquet of roses in both arms.

—Was apologized to profusely by a young woman walking a dog, when the dog dragged her over and started jumping on me. Once she got the dog calmed down, she started telling me how she only came here to visit, a few months ago, but she liked it so much that she stayed. I was tempted to talk to her longer, but I had to get to the meeting.

Right, the meeting. The upshot was that they think I might be able to “commune” with Spirit Falls in a way none of them have been able to, so tomorrow Joan wants to take me to a place they all referred to as “The Fields” (yes, the way they said it, it definitely had capital letters) where she says I'll be able to interact with the spirit of the town most directly.

There was also a lawyer at the meeting, Chet somebody, who isn't on the council but attends meetings as sort of an auxiliary, because he's the one who has to enforce all the resolutions the Council passes to try—unsuccessfully—to prevent all the falling in love and romantic gestures happening here. He kept grumbling about how it takes up all his time and he hasn't been able to take the trip to Europe he's been trying to plan for years.

He gave me even more background reading to go over before I meet with Joan tomorrow, so I guess that's my plans for the rest of today: reading up on all these documents about Spirit Falls history, demographics, topographical features—and he also gave me a page of summoning incantations (???).

So, everybody wish me...luck, I guess?

 

Friday, September 23
posted by Eve at 11:00 am

You guys. You guys. That was the most amazing thing I've ever been part of, I think.

I mean, I know it was. It was the most amazing thing.

Yesterday—right, it was only yesterday! Less than 24 hours ago! Can't even believe it. Yesterday, I met Joan at The Fields, which is, yes, a large area of fields at the edge of Spirit Falls. Yesterday was also the fall equinox, which everyone seemed to think was an auspicious time. We spent a long time just walking around, trying to get a feel for the place. Joan kept saying I would know when I found a good spot, but I had no idea what I was looking for. Or feeling for.

It started to rain. And then it rained harder, and harder, until it was the most intense downpour I'd ever experienced and I was soaked through and cold and miserable and we'd been tromping around in this mucky field for what seemed like hours, and finally I was so fed up that I just leaned my head back and shouted up at the storm, “Spirit Falls, what do you want from us??”

And I swear to you, I swear, I know how impossible it sounds, but Spirit Falls said to me: “I want my beloved back.”

And no, it wasn't that I heard a voice, it wasn't quite like that. It wasn't like I heard somebody whisper in my ear, but it wasn't that I imagined the voice inside my head, either. I don't know how to explain it. Just, I asked a question and that was the answer.

I almost fell over, I was so shocked. Joan came running over, her jacket drenched and her hair plastered all over, but her face so bright and intent, saying “What, what is it? What is it?”

When I told her what Spirit Falls had said, she went completely still and her face absolutely lit up. She grabbed my hands and stared right at me and said, “Ask Spirit Falls who its beloved is.”

I closed my eyes and squeezed Joan's hands and concentrated hard and then I asked the question as loudly and clearly as I could. And Spirit Falls said: “Spirit Glen.”

Spirit Glen?

Right away, the storm fell away completely. From one minute to the next, it went from lashing rain to watery sun peeking out from behind the clouds and a first few hesitant birds starting to chirp. Joan looked dazed and exhilarated. I probably looked the same.

“I think I get it,” Joan said. “I think I really, really get it and I know what we have to do.”

 

*

 

RSS FEED
keyword: Spirit Falls

 

Spirit Falls Ledger, Saturday, September 24
LOVE CURSE LIFTED?

 

The Spirit Gazette, Monday, September 26
Rumors Abound in Wake of Last Week's Unusual Weather Event
Spirit Falls Residents Surprised by Lack of Usual Kissing in the Rain, Mad Dashes through Downpour, etc.
See Page 3 for More

 

Spirit Falls Ledger, Tuesday, September 27
WHO IS MYSTERY WOMAN WHO COMMUNED DIRECTLY WITH LOVELORN SPIRIT OF SPIRIT FALLS?

 

Spirit Falls Weekly Standard, Friday, September 30
Planning Committee Pursues Rezoning Effort, Spirit Lake to Be Diverted

 

The Spirit Gazette, Wednesday, October 5
Open Town Council Meeting Next Monday
All Residents Invited to Attend, Weigh In On Rezoning Plan

 

Spirit Falls Ledger, Monday, October 10
IS IT EVEN FALL WITHOUT ROMANTIC PROPOSALS AMIDST THE FALLING LEAVES?

 

Spirit Falls Weekly Standard, Friday, October 14
Date Set for Dismantling of Dam; Spirit Falls and Spirit Glen to Be Accessible by Foot for First Time in Nearly 100 Years

 

The Spirit Gazette, Monday, October 24
Local Residents Note Romantic Gestures No Longer So Difficult to Avoid; Exultant Town Council Spokesperson Observes: No New Marriage Proposals This Month!

 

Spirit Falls Ledger, Wednesday, October 26
WILL THERE BE WEDDINGS EVER AGAIN?

 

The Inquiring Inquisitor, Saturday, October 29
We Interviewed Three Pairs of Spirit Falls Newlyweds and Here's What They Said!
(One Bride Opines: “It's Really Nice to Know We Definitely, For Sure Got Married Because We Wanted to, Not Because Some Disembodied Spirit Obsessed with Its Own Love Troubles Made Us Do It”)

 

The Spirit Gazette, Monday, October 31
Boo! Spirit Falls Gets in the Spirit of the Spookiest Day of the Year with Spirit Falls All-Hallows Bash
Full Schedule of Events on Page 6

 

Spirit Falls Retirement Community Monthly Meteor, Tuesday, November 1
100-Year-Old Spirit Falls Resident Mnemosyne Foss Reflects on a Century of Life in a Love-Cursed Town: “It Was Always a Strange Place to Be, But It Had Its Charm, Too”

 

Spirit Falls Ledger, Monday, November 21
HUNKY LOCAL LEGAL EAGLE CHET ANDERSON SPEAKS OUT AT LAST:
I just wanted to get on with my life, you know?” says dreamy attorney Anderson, 41. “With all this mess taken care of, I finally was able to visit some cousins of mine in Europe and we got along really well. I think I'll be going back there more often in the future.”

 

The National Sphere, Friday, December 2
LOVE IS IN THE AIR...between a town and its neighboring town. Quirky hamlet Spirit Falls has always had a reputation for making its residents fall in love. Now, it seems, the legendary “Spirit Falls Love Curse” has been cured: All along, say residents, it was the spirit of the town pining over its separation from neighboring Spirit Glen, determinedly uniting others in love as it could not be united with its own lost beloved. Do YOU believe it?

 

*

 

Wednesday, December 21
posted by Eve at 10:41 am

Oh my gosh, you guys. I'm so sorry I haven't posted in so long! It's been a whirlwind. (Sometimes literally, heh!) Kind of can't believe I left you hanging right at that dramatic part of the story... Although maybe since then you've read about some of this elsewhere? I think we even made national news at one point.

I have to say that Joan—remember, from the Town Council, who took me to The Fields to try to figure this whole thing out—is an absolute genius. She was the one who made the connection immediately, that Spirit Falls must be pining (yes, I feel ridiculous writing those words even now, but I lived through this actual thing, so...) for its formerly neighboring town, Spirit Glen. And that maybe it channeled that heartbreak into trying to get its residents to fall in love and be together instead, since it couldn't have love itself.

We ran with that theory right away. That same day, Joan and I were back at Town Hall digging through records and permits and zoning ordinances, hashing out a plan, drafting memos to the zoning board, the watershed advisory council, the state-level regulatory boards... Joan's deep knowledge of Spirit Falls history was invaluable. It was fortunate, too, that I still have so many connections in property development and urban planning back in the city, thanks to my old job!

And it seemed like as soon as Spirit Falls saw what we were doing, what we were working on, it backed right off of its whole thing of forcing people to fall in love. It's been a strange time for people who live here and who were used to life being like that, but overall people seem really happy about the change.

The permits came through unfathomably fast (I can't help thinking the spirit of Spirit Falls was at work there, too...) and the dismantling of the Spirit Lake dam began last week. The ground is still pretty marshy, but it's now technically possible to walk from Spirit Falls to Spirit Glen—which I know, because Joan and I did it together yesterday.

That's the other thing I need to tell you guys...

In the course of all this, Joan and I fell in love. Not in a meet-cute, dramatic-gesture, Spirit-Falls-made-us-do-it way! Just two people working together and discovering we make a really good team. We're taking it slow, because Joan has kids and we don't want to rush anything for their sake. And I'm still getting to know the town, too. But it looks like I'll be staying here for the foreseeable future. I got a job, in fact, at an adorable local business: the combination tea shop and music store, TeaTimeSignature. It's a lovely place to work, with a healthy pace of living, and it's made me realize I really did need that change of pace.

So, things are good. Joan and I are taking it day by day, just enjoying getting to know each other at our own pace and not being hurried or pressured into anything.

Although, this winter we're thinking of asking Spirit Falls to get us snowed in together at the Spirit Falls Cabin Resort, where each of the cabins is quaint and charming and has only one bed... Just for old times' sake.

 

*


End notes:

Hi, yes, because I'm a dork I need to tell you about the names in this fic. ;-) Eve's name started out as a nickname: It's short for "Everywoman." Because she's the everywoman character providing the POV for this story. And the 100-year-old Spirit Falls resident who serves as a sort of living memory for the history of the town in one of the newspaper headlines? (Blink and you'll miss her.) Her name is Mnemosyne Foss; Mnemosyne is the Greek goddess of memory and Foss is Icelandic for waterfall. Because she serves as the memory of Spirit Falls.

Thus endeth the lecture, thank you. :D



.

Date: 2023-03-12 03:48 pm (UTC)
nerakrose: drawing of balfour from havemercy (Default)
From: [personal profile] nerakrose
I'm actually stil (and very slowly)l making my way through the yuletide collection for this fandom!! I discovered it when looking through the collection and I'm having so much fun with it. it's such a delightful canon to begin with and the stories so far have been so good. I'm excited to discover you wrote a fic for this as well!

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