starfishstar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starfishstar) wrote2011-12-12 11:19 pm
starfishstar) wrote2011-12-12 11:19 pm
Entry tags:
In the Wrong House, chapter 7 + epilogue
IN THE WRONG HOUSE (final chapter + epilogue)
Summary:
Sirius Black, Remus thought, was just as arrogant and annoying as James Potter, and he wished the two of them would stop getting into fights. Because Remus kept finding himself stepping in to stop them, and calling that kind of attention to himself was really the last thing he needed during his first year at Hogwarts.
It didn't matter if they were unpredictable Blacks or show-off Potters, or even someone harmless like Peter Pettigrew. None of these boys could be his friends, and it was time Remus started remembering it.
He didn't mind, Remus told himself. He didn't need friends.
Characters: Remus, James, Sirius, Peter and supporting cast
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 + epilogue
Story:
CHAPTER SEVEN
Remus awoke slowly, head pounding so terribly that the only thing he could really imagine doing was groaning in pain. In fact, he probably did groan, because when he looked to his left, he was embarrassed to see the person in the next bed looking at him.
The person in the next bed.
There was someone in the bed next to him in the hospital wing, gazing curiously at Remus. Madam Pomfrey had forgotten to pull curtains around his bed like she always did and now he was here, exposed, and someone was looking at him, probably seeing him scratched and bruised and battered, before Madam Pomfrey had Healed the worst of it away.
That someone was Peter Pettigrew.
Now Remus really did have reason to groan, but he refrained. In fact, he was pretty sure he was frozen with panic.
"Hey, Remus," Peter said. "What are you doing here?"
Remus opened and closed his mouth experimentally. This time, at least, he'd thought ahead of time of things he could say, excuses he could give. Now if only his vocal chords would cooperate. He felt his own hands and face surreptitiously. No gaping wounds. Maybe he really would get away with pleading normal illness.
"Felt a bit ill," he managed. "Madam Pomfrey let me stay the night." Then, because Peter seemed to expect some kind of continuing conversation, "You?"
"Well, James and I tried to sneak an exploding cauldron into the Potions classroom, before everyone else was awake." Remus noticed distractedly that Peter's face still lit up a little whenever he got to refer to James and himself in the same sentence. "We got caught though, and the cauldron, well, exploded." He looked pleased with himself. "Madam Pomfrey made me stay a few hours. Burns, you know." He shoved up his sleeves to show Remus his battle wounds.
Remus nodded, trying to look impressed and not just terrified.
Reluctantly, Peter rolled his sleeves back down and turned his attention back to Remus. "What did you say you had again?"
Thankfully, just then Madam Pomfrey came bustling up. "Well, Remus, feeling any better yet?" she asked briskly. "I daresay it's the flu, so I'll expect you to stay in bed at least the rest of today. Don't even think of going to your classes – I'll write a note to your Head of House. And drink this. It's what I used all winter during the flu season and perhaps you're just catching it a little later than the rest."
As she spoke, she pressed a goblet to his lips, but of course the liquid inside bore no more resemblance to a flu potion than Remus did to a normal schoolboy. It was the usual concoction meant to ease the after-effects of having had his entire body ripped apart and rearranged twice in less than twenty-four hours.
Remus drank, light-headed with relief and gratitude for the school nurse's unexpected ability to lie through her teeth.
"As for you, Mr Pettigrew," she was saying, "it looks like those burns have healed just fine and if you head out now, you'll still catch breakfast. Chop, chop. I'm sure your friends are waiting to see you're all right."
Peter sighed and tried to look pitiable, but Madam Pomfrey shooed him toward the door and eventually he went, with a friendly wave back to Remus.
In the quiet that descended on the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey came and gave Remus' pillows an entirely unnecessary plumping, then paused with one hand on the side of the bed, gazing down at him. Remus couldn't quite read her expression – pity? concern? exasperation? Any would fit. He felt self-conscious anyway, still cringing with the embarrassment of waking up in the hospital wing to find one of his classmates looking at him.
"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," he managed, hoping she could hear in his tone that he really meant it. "Thank you for –" he couldn't quite bring himself to describe a grown-up as lying, though she had – "Thank you for telling that story in front of Peter."
"It's entirely my own fault," she rejoined brusquely. "Forgot to draw the curtains round your bed when I brought you back in this morning, since there was no one else here. Then Professor Slughorn brought in young Mr Pettigrew, and it was too late to do anything about it. I'm aware he's in your House and year, as well." She was giving him that indefinable look again.
"It's fine, ma'am," Remus murmured, not wanting to have to worry about her distress on top of everything else. "I'm sure he didn't think anything of it."
No, Peter wouldn't, perhaps. Peter was generally credulous. But what about Sirius? Or James? Both of them were too clever by half. Remus felt his stomach slowly contracting into a hard knot of fear. And that on top of the usual post-transformation nausea.
Madam Pomfrey smoothed his forehead with a cool hand. "Well," she said, "you're not going to classes today in any case, and don't try to argue with me this time. I'll bring you a sleeping draught – try to get some rest."
"Thank you, ma'am," Remus said weakly. Madam Pomfrey took such good care of him, when really there was nothing that obligated her to him. Once a month, she stayed up late to make sure he got to the Shrieking Shack safely, and woke up at dawn to spirit him back. She'd probably even get in trouble if anyone outside the school found out she'd been abetting a werewolf… Remus added guilt to the list of things making his stomach roil.
He wondered why Madam Pomfrey put up with him. Why anyone did.
As she bustled away again to fetch the promised sleeping draught, Remus thought he heard her mutter something that sounded suspiciously like, "That poor boy."
– – – – –
Madam Pomfrey didn't release him from the hospital wing until evening. It was probably for the best, Remus supposed, since now he had to try to maintain the illusion that he'd been out of class all day with flu symptoms.
It wasn't even that far from true, since constant panic was making him feel alternately hot and cold, and his skin felt clammy to his own touch. If Madam Pomfrey had offered him the option of simply staying in the hospital wing for the rest of his life and never again having to face another human being, Remus might have taken it.
As it was, she sent him out into the world with nothing more than a sympathetic smile and an enjoinment to drink plenty of fluids. Madam Pomfrey seemed to believe all ailments up to and including lycanthropy could be improved by staying hydrated.
Remus dragged his feet all the way to Gryffindor Tower. Maybe if he went slowly enough, they would all be in bed? Or perhaps he should hurry and get there while the common room was still crowded, so there was less chance of others noticing him come in?
No, maybe if he really went slowly enough, he'd be out past curfew and land directly in detention and not have to see anyone the rest of the evening. Well, or maybe he could just go ahead and get expelled, somehow, before the other Gryffindors had a chance to figure out what he was and he ended up kicked out anyway…
Remus looked up and discovered his feet had delivered him to the portrait hole.
He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and said, "Gillyweed" to the fat lady, who nodded and let him in. He tried to summon all his powers of not being seen as he walked past and around the various groups of students in the common room, making eye contact with no one.
He reached the dormitory, blessedly empty, and flung himself down on his bed in the far corner with a gasp of relief. No one had noticed him. No one had said anything.
A few more weeks, a few more weeks, Remus chanted in his head as he burrowed into the bedcovers. Maybe he could just stay here in bed until it was time to ride the Hogwarts Express back home.
Some time later, Remus heard voices and footsteps on the stairs outside the room, and hurriedly tried to look asleep. He could have sworn he heard the words "full moon" just before the door opened and the voices dropped off abruptly.
I really do have a fever and I'm hallucinating, Remus told himself firmly. He'd never hoped to be ill so fervently in his life.
It was long after he heard the others drop one by one into peaceful snores that Remus finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
He dreamt Professor McGonagall came and offered him a smoking goblet. "It's the Cure, Mr Lupin!" she declared, the smile on her face sinister in its unfamiliarity. "Drink it," she urged, "and you can finally have friends."
Then it was Madam Pomfrey, forcing the potion to his lips. "Now you're the only human among werewolves," she told him, and when Remus looked around, he saw it was true, all his classmates were transforming. Remus wanted to transform too, but now he couldn't, now he was human. And then it was Peter in front of him, in a hospital bed, grotesquely half-transformed and laughing at Remus...
He woke with a start. Pale dawn light was just beginning to slip in past the curtains. Everyone else was still asleep.
Remus took a few deep breaths. It would be fine. Today would be normal. Peter had seen him in the hospital wing and thought he'd had a bit of the flu, and that was all that had happened. He was overreacting.
Maybe he'd avoid the others today, just in case.
He pulled on clothes and cleaned his teeth, then took his books to the library. No one else would be there this early.
When breakfast time rolled around, Remus decided it would be easier just to skip it. He didn't feel much like eating anyway.
He scooted into the Gryffindors' first class of the morning, History of Magic, at the last possible moment, so that no one would have the chance to talk to him. Was that a lunar phase chart tucked inside Sirius' textbook as he passed? Remus did double-take as he reached the back of the classroom, but it was too late to retrace his steps and check. He'd imagined it. Guilty conscience.
By lunchtime, Remus could no longer ignore the growling of his stomach and the lightness in his head. He sat at the far end of the Gryffindor table and ate as fast as he could. Did Peter glance Remus' way as James whispered something in his ear? No, he'd imagined that too.
He spent the rest of the lunch break in the library.
– – – – –
He should have known.
He should have known when he found the first-year boys' dormitory so conveniently empty that evening. He should have noticed Sirius making sure Ben Davies was engrossed in a protracted game of chess with a fourth-year who didn't usually condescend to play with younger students, should have noticed the way James sent Alvin and Tristan off on some wild Pixie chase about a Ravenclaw girl who had a certain book James insisted McGonagall had said they needed for their Transfiguration homework, while Peter hung about nonchalantly at the foot of the dormitory stairs.
Remus should have noticed all these things, but he had barely slept in two nights and hardly eaten a proper meal in as long, and instead of being suspicious, he was simply grateful for the silence and the chance to fall onto his bed.
And then James and Sirius and Peter were all there.
"Hey, Remus," James said, his tone friendly. All three of them moved closer to Remus' bed, which was in the corner, the far corner. Trapped.
They approached until they were standing in a loose semicircle around Remus where he sat fully alert, quivering, and unable to move.
"We just wanted to talk to you," Sirius said.
"We figured out you're a werewolf!" Peter blurted.
Sirius turned to him and rolled his eyes. "Peter, can't you keep a secret? Ever?"
Peter blushed.
"What we mean to say," Sirius continued, "is, well, I suppose – that we figured out you're a werewolf. Eh, seems kind of anticlimactic now. Anyway, you don't have to hide it from us anymore."
James was the only one who seemed to pick up on Remus' discomfort. "Uh, we're not upset or anything," he said.
Remus finally found his voice. "How can you not be upset?" he croaked up at the boys surrounding him. "You've been living with a monster all this time and I never told you."
"You're not a monster," Sirius retorted.
"You help me with my homework," Peter added, as if this were the clear deciding factor.
"Believe me, I've seen monsters," James said, puffing out his chest a little. "And you're not them."
Remus gazed at their faces one by one. Surely if they were going to attack him, they would have done it by now. And if they were going to complain to the Headmaster, or reveal his secret to the rest of the school, they would have done that long before they'd come to talk to him in private. Shakily, Remus stood and faced them.
"Okay," he said. "I don't really understand why, but apparently you're not angry. Just...please don't tell anyone else, okay? I mean, the other boys in the dormitory, if you think it's their right to know too, I understand, but other than that I'd prefer –"
"Remus," Sirius said.
"Mate," James added, "don't be daft, we're not going to tell anyone."
"You don't want to tell anyone?" Remus repeated dubiously.
"Are you kidding? And give away the best secret ever?" Sirius was incredulous. "Remus, you don't seem to be getting it: This is brilliant."
Apparently, Remus had been right all along when he thought Sirius was barking mad.
"We'll look out for you, Remus," James promised, eyes shining behind his glasses. "This just means we share something important. We're kind of your Secret-Keepers, you know? We take that seriously."
Peter nodded too.
"Ooh!" interjected Sirius. "We need a team name! And secret code identities."
"All in good time, Sirius," James admonished, with the air of one who'd said it many times before.
"A handshake, at least."
The two of them shared one of those expressive looks that were quickly becoming their trademark.
"Yeah, a handshake," James agreed.
They all put their hands into the middle of the circle they formed, reaching across haphazardly until all eight of their hands were clasped.
"To...us," James said.
"To all the adventures to come," Sirius said.
"To secrets," Peter said. "I won't tell anybody, Remus, I promise."
Remus looked around at them and held his head high. "To friendship?" he suggested.
And the four of them shook on that.
– – – – –
EPILOGUE
"Remus."
Remus made a weak attempt at opening his eyes, but gave it up as a bad job.
"Remus!"
Applying more effort, Remus was able to drag his eyes open, and gazed blearily at the object directly in front of them. Which was a piece of toast.
"C'mon, hurry and wake up," James said. "Madam Pomfrey let us come in just for a minute to see you, and she doesn't know we smuggled breakfast in too."
Remus blinked some more, and discovered not only James, but also Sirius and Peter behind the piece of toast.
"'R you all doing here?" he managed.
"Like he said," Sirius put in impatiently, "Madam Pomfrey let us in to see you. We begged very angelically."
"Actually, that was just Peter. He's awfully good at kissing up to professors."
"Oh, sod off, James."
"Anyway, we brought you some toast. Thought you might be hungry after the you-know-what." Sirius again.
"And coming back from the you-know-where." That was Peter, sounding important.
"And just generally because it's the you-know-when." James sounded slightly miffed at getting his word in last.
Remus was still stuck on the first bit. "Madam Pomfrey let you in?"
"Yeah, yeah," James said. "We told her that we know. And that we wouldn't breathe a word to anybody."
"But she let you in?"
"Reckon she figured you don't have many people on your side, so they might as well at least all be on the same side," James determined.
"No, actually Pete just made those puppy dog eyes at her." That was Sirius.
"Oh, shut up."
This last month of becoming mates hadn't been like sliding into an old pair of trainers or onto a familiar broom. It was more like that night under James' Invisibility Cloak – even better than Remus' wildest dreams, but not without its share of awkwardly bumping into each other and stepping on each other's toes.
Remus learnt about being a friend from watching the others – how much you could tease Sirius or Peter without them getting actually angry, how far you should indulge James' flights of fancy before someone needed to take him in hand. How you could ever get a little bit of quiet time, when you shared your bedroom and your life with three boisterous boys.
But all of it was made up for and more those mornings when Remus headed automatically for a seat alone at the end of the breakfast table, then laughed at himself as he realised his mistake and turned his steps toward his waiting friends.
"C'mon," James was saying now, so Remus took the proffered toast and chewed carefully. His stomach was feeling a little squirmy, but he thought that might actually be from happiness, not the transformation.
"Thanks," he said when he'd finished, and he thought all three of them looked pleased.
Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and James gave a guilty start, wiping crumbs from his hands. "Guess we'd better go," he said.
"See ya later, Remus," Peter said with a shy smile.
"Plenty to do, anyway," Sirius declared briskly. "We just saw Snape heading toward the Owlery..."
Remus groaned. Sirius had already landed himself in detention several times in the last month, and he really didn't need another one. "Sirius," he began, "please swear to me – I know you're about to get up to something no good –"
Sirius' face lit up. "No problem. I swear, Remus – no, I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He gave a little salute and a grin, then followed James, who was already tugging at the sleeve of his robes, Peter trailing behind the two of them, as Madam Pomfrey bore down.
"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey!" James called from the doorway. "That was hardly more than two minutes, really, just like we promised."
Sirius looked back at Remus as James pulled him out of the room and mouthed the words, "Solemnly swear."
Remus dropped his head back against the pillow and laughed to himself, hardly noticing Madam Pomfrey straightening the covers and feeding him another vile but necessary potion.
In all his life, Remus had never felt so good on the morning after a full moon.
THE END
Summary:
Sirius Black, Remus thought, was just as arrogant and annoying as James Potter, and he wished the two of them would stop getting into fights. Because Remus kept finding himself stepping in to stop them, and calling that kind of attention to himself was really the last thing he needed during his first year at Hogwarts.
It didn't matter if they were unpredictable Blacks or show-off Potters, or even someone harmless like Peter Pettigrew. None of these boys could be his friends, and it was time Remus started remembering it.
He didn't mind, Remus told himself. He didn't need friends.
Characters: Remus, James, Sirius, Peter and supporting cast
Warnings: None
Chapters: 7 + epilogue
Story:
CHAPTER SEVEN
Remus awoke slowly, head pounding so terribly that the only thing he could really imagine doing was groaning in pain. In fact, he probably did groan, because when he looked to his left, he was embarrassed to see the person in the next bed looking at him.
The person in the next bed.
There was someone in the bed next to him in the hospital wing, gazing curiously at Remus. Madam Pomfrey had forgotten to pull curtains around his bed like she always did and now he was here, exposed, and someone was looking at him, probably seeing him scratched and bruised and battered, before Madam Pomfrey had Healed the worst of it away.
That someone was Peter Pettigrew.
Now Remus really did have reason to groan, but he refrained. In fact, he was pretty sure he was frozen with panic.
"Hey, Remus," Peter said. "What are you doing here?"
Remus opened and closed his mouth experimentally. This time, at least, he'd thought ahead of time of things he could say, excuses he could give. Now if only his vocal chords would cooperate. He felt his own hands and face surreptitiously. No gaping wounds. Maybe he really would get away with pleading normal illness.
"Felt a bit ill," he managed. "Madam Pomfrey let me stay the night." Then, because Peter seemed to expect some kind of continuing conversation, "You?"
"Well, James and I tried to sneak an exploding cauldron into the Potions classroom, before everyone else was awake." Remus noticed distractedly that Peter's face still lit up a little whenever he got to refer to James and himself in the same sentence. "We got caught though, and the cauldron, well, exploded." He looked pleased with himself. "Madam Pomfrey made me stay a few hours. Burns, you know." He shoved up his sleeves to show Remus his battle wounds.
Remus nodded, trying to look impressed and not just terrified.
Reluctantly, Peter rolled his sleeves back down and turned his attention back to Remus. "What did you say you had again?"
Thankfully, just then Madam Pomfrey came bustling up. "Well, Remus, feeling any better yet?" she asked briskly. "I daresay it's the flu, so I'll expect you to stay in bed at least the rest of today. Don't even think of going to your classes – I'll write a note to your Head of House. And drink this. It's what I used all winter during the flu season and perhaps you're just catching it a little later than the rest."
As she spoke, she pressed a goblet to his lips, but of course the liquid inside bore no more resemblance to a flu potion than Remus did to a normal schoolboy. It was the usual concoction meant to ease the after-effects of having had his entire body ripped apart and rearranged twice in less than twenty-four hours.
Remus drank, light-headed with relief and gratitude for the school nurse's unexpected ability to lie through her teeth.
"As for you, Mr Pettigrew," she was saying, "it looks like those burns have healed just fine and if you head out now, you'll still catch breakfast. Chop, chop. I'm sure your friends are waiting to see you're all right."
Peter sighed and tried to look pitiable, but Madam Pomfrey shooed him toward the door and eventually he went, with a friendly wave back to Remus.
In the quiet that descended on the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey came and gave Remus' pillows an entirely unnecessary plumping, then paused with one hand on the side of the bed, gazing down at him. Remus couldn't quite read her expression – pity? concern? exasperation? Any would fit. He felt self-conscious anyway, still cringing with the embarrassment of waking up in the hospital wing to find one of his classmates looking at him.
"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," he managed, hoping she could hear in his tone that he really meant it. "Thank you for –" he couldn't quite bring himself to describe a grown-up as lying, though she had – "Thank you for telling that story in front of Peter."
"It's entirely my own fault," she rejoined brusquely. "Forgot to draw the curtains round your bed when I brought you back in this morning, since there was no one else here. Then Professor Slughorn brought in young Mr Pettigrew, and it was too late to do anything about it. I'm aware he's in your House and year, as well." She was giving him that indefinable look again.
"It's fine, ma'am," Remus murmured, not wanting to have to worry about her distress on top of everything else. "I'm sure he didn't think anything of it."
No, Peter wouldn't, perhaps. Peter was generally credulous. But what about Sirius? Or James? Both of them were too clever by half. Remus felt his stomach slowly contracting into a hard knot of fear. And that on top of the usual post-transformation nausea.
Madam Pomfrey smoothed his forehead with a cool hand. "Well," she said, "you're not going to classes today in any case, and don't try to argue with me this time. I'll bring you a sleeping draught – try to get some rest."
"Thank you, ma'am," Remus said weakly. Madam Pomfrey took such good care of him, when really there was nothing that obligated her to him. Once a month, she stayed up late to make sure he got to the Shrieking Shack safely, and woke up at dawn to spirit him back. She'd probably even get in trouble if anyone outside the school found out she'd been abetting a werewolf… Remus added guilt to the list of things making his stomach roil.
He wondered why Madam Pomfrey put up with him. Why anyone did.
As she bustled away again to fetch the promised sleeping draught, Remus thought he heard her mutter something that sounded suspiciously like, "That poor boy."
– – – – –
Madam Pomfrey didn't release him from the hospital wing until evening. It was probably for the best, Remus supposed, since now he had to try to maintain the illusion that he'd been out of class all day with flu symptoms.
It wasn't even that far from true, since constant panic was making him feel alternately hot and cold, and his skin felt clammy to his own touch. If Madam Pomfrey had offered him the option of simply staying in the hospital wing for the rest of his life and never again having to face another human being, Remus might have taken it.
As it was, she sent him out into the world with nothing more than a sympathetic smile and an enjoinment to drink plenty of fluids. Madam Pomfrey seemed to believe all ailments up to and including lycanthropy could be improved by staying hydrated.
Remus dragged his feet all the way to Gryffindor Tower. Maybe if he went slowly enough, they would all be in bed? Or perhaps he should hurry and get there while the common room was still crowded, so there was less chance of others noticing him come in?
No, maybe if he really went slowly enough, he'd be out past curfew and land directly in detention and not have to see anyone the rest of the evening. Well, or maybe he could just go ahead and get expelled, somehow, before the other Gryffindors had a chance to figure out what he was and he ended up kicked out anyway…
Remus looked up and discovered his feet had delivered him to the portrait hole.
He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and said, "Gillyweed" to the fat lady, who nodded and let him in. He tried to summon all his powers of not being seen as he walked past and around the various groups of students in the common room, making eye contact with no one.
He reached the dormitory, blessedly empty, and flung himself down on his bed in the far corner with a gasp of relief. No one had noticed him. No one had said anything.
A few more weeks, a few more weeks, Remus chanted in his head as he burrowed into the bedcovers. Maybe he could just stay here in bed until it was time to ride the Hogwarts Express back home.
Some time later, Remus heard voices and footsteps on the stairs outside the room, and hurriedly tried to look asleep. He could have sworn he heard the words "full moon" just before the door opened and the voices dropped off abruptly.
I really do have a fever and I'm hallucinating, Remus told himself firmly. He'd never hoped to be ill so fervently in his life.
It was long after he heard the others drop one by one into peaceful snores that Remus finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
He dreamt Professor McGonagall came and offered him a smoking goblet. "It's the Cure, Mr Lupin!" she declared, the smile on her face sinister in its unfamiliarity. "Drink it," she urged, "and you can finally have friends."
Then it was Madam Pomfrey, forcing the potion to his lips. "Now you're the only human among werewolves," she told him, and when Remus looked around, he saw it was true, all his classmates were transforming. Remus wanted to transform too, but now he couldn't, now he was human. And then it was Peter in front of him, in a hospital bed, grotesquely half-transformed and laughing at Remus...
He woke with a start. Pale dawn light was just beginning to slip in past the curtains. Everyone else was still asleep.
Remus took a few deep breaths. It would be fine. Today would be normal. Peter had seen him in the hospital wing and thought he'd had a bit of the flu, and that was all that had happened. He was overreacting.
Maybe he'd avoid the others today, just in case.
He pulled on clothes and cleaned his teeth, then took his books to the library. No one else would be there this early.
When breakfast time rolled around, Remus decided it would be easier just to skip it. He didn't feel much like eating anyway.
He scooted into the Gryffindors' first class of the morning, History of Magic, at the last possible moment, so that no one would have the chance to talk to him. Was that a lunar phase chart tucked inside Sirius' textbook as he passed? Remus did double-take as he reached the back of the classroom, but it was too late to retrace his steps and check. He'd imagined it. Guilty conscience.
By lunchtime, Remus could no longer ignore the growling of his stomach and the lightness in his head. He sat at the far end of the Gryffindor table and ate as fast as he could. Did Peter glance Remus' way as James whispered something in his ear? No, he'd imagined that too.
He spent the rest of the lunch break in the library.
– – – – –
He should have known.
He should have known when he found the first-year boys' dormitory so conveniently empty that evening. He should have noticed Sirius making sure Ben Davies was engrossed in a protracted game of chess with a fourth-year who didn't usually condescend to play with younger students, should have noticed the way James sent Alvin and Tristan off on some wild Pixie chase about a Ravenclaw girl who had a certain book James insisted McGonagall had said they needed for their Transfiguration homework, while Peter hung about nonchalantly at the foot of the dormitory stairs.
Remus should have noticed all these things, but he had barely slept in two nights and hardly eaten a proper meal in as long, and instead of being suspicious, he was simply grateful for the silence and the chance to fall onto his bed.
And then James and Sirius and Peter were all there.
"Hey, Remus," James said, his tone friendly. All three of them moved closer to Remus' bed, which was in the corner, the far corner. Trapped.
They approached until they were standing in a loose semicircle around Remus where he sat fully alert, quivering, and unable to move.
"We just wanted to talk to you," Sirius said.
"We figured out you're a werewolf!" Peter blurted.
Sirius turned to him and rolled his eyes. "Peter, can't you keep a secret? Ever?"
Peter blushed.
"What we mean to say," Sirius continued, "is, well, I suppose – that we figured out you're a werewolf. Eh, seems kind of anticlimactic now. Anyway, you don't have to hide it from us anymore."
James was the only one who seemed to pick up on Remus' discomfort. "Uh, we're not upset or anything," he said.
Remus finally found his voice. "How can you not be upset?" he croaked up at the boys surrounding him. "You've been living with a monster all this time and I never told you."
"You're not a monster," Sirius retorted.
"You help me with my homework," Peter added, as if this were the clear deciding factor.
"Believe me, I've seen monsters," James said, puffing out his chest a little. "And you're not them."
Remus gazed at their faces one by one. Surely if they were going to attack him, they would have done it by now. And if they were going to complain to the Headmaster, or reveal his secret to the rest of the school, they would have done that long before they'd come to talk to him in private. Shakily, Remus stood and faced them.
"Okay," he said. "I don't really understand why, but apparently you're not angry. Just...please don't tell anyone else, okay? I mean, the other boys in the dormitory, if you think it's their right to know too, I understand, but other than that I'd prefer –"
"Remus," Sirius said.
"Mate," James added, "don't be daft, we're not going to tell anyone."
"You don't want to tell anyone?" Remus repeated dubiously.
"Are you kidding? And give away the best secret ever?" Sirius was incredulous. "Remus, you don't seem to be getting it: This is brilliant."
Apparently, Remus had been right all along when he thought Sirius was barking mad.
"We'll look out for you, Remus," James promised, eyes shining behind his glasses. "This just means we share something important. We're kind of your Secret-Keepers, you know? We take that seriously."
Peter nodded too.
"Ooh!" interjected Sirius. "We need a team name! And secret code identities."
"All in good time, Sirius," James admonished, with the air of one who'd said it many times before.
"A handshake, at least."
The two of them shared one of those expressive looks that were quickly becoming their trademark.
"Yeah, a handshake," James agreed.
They all put their hands into the middle of the circle they formed, reaching across haphazardly until all eight of their hands were clasped.
"To...us," James said.
"To all the adventures to come," Sirius said.
"To secrets," Peter said. "I won't tell anybody, Remus, I promise."
Remus looked around at them and held his head high. "To friendship?" he suggested.
And the four of them shook on that.
– – – – –
EPILOGUE
"Remus."
Remus made a weak attempt at opening his eyes, but gave it up as a bad job.
"Remus!"
Applying more effort, Remus was able to drag his eyes open, and gazed blearily at the object directly in front of them. Which was a piece of toast.
"C'mon, hurry and wake up," James said. "Madam Pomfrey let us come in just for a minute to see you, and she doesn't know we smuggled breakfast in too."
Remus blinked some more, and discovered not only James, but also Sirius and Peter behind the piece of toast.
"'R you all doing here?" he managed.
"Like he said," Sirius put in impatiently, "Madam Pomfrey let us in to see you. We begged very angelically."
"Actually, that was just Peter. He's awfully good at kissing up to professors."
"Oh, sod off, James."
"Anyway, we brought you some toast. Thought you might be hungry after the you-know-what." Sirius again.
"And coming back from the you-know-where." That was Peter, sounding important.
"And just generally because it's the you-know-when." James sounded slightly miffed at getting his word in last.
Remus was still stuck on the first bit. "Madam Pomfrey let you in?"
"Yeah, yeah," James said. "We told her that we know. And that we wouldn't breathe a word to anybody."
"But she let you in?"
"Reckon she figured you don't have many people on your side, so they might as well at least all be on the same side," James determined.
"No, actually Pete just made those puppy dog eyes at her." That was Sirius.
"Oh, shut up."
This last month of becoming mates hadn't been like sliding into an old pair of trainers or onto a familiar broom. It was more like that night under James' Invisibility Cloak – even better than Remus' wildest dreams, but not without its share of awkwardly bumping into each other and stepping on each other's toes.
Remus learnt about being a friend from watching the others – how much you could tease Sirius or Peter without them getting actually angry, how far you should indulge James' flights of fancy before someone needed to take him in hand. How you could ever get a little bit of quiet time, when you shared your bedroom and your life with three boisterous boys.
But all of it was made up for and more those mornings when Remus headed automatically for a seat alone at the end of the breakfast table, then laughed at himself as he realised his mistake and turned his steps toward his waiting friends.
"C'mon," James was saying now, so Remus took the proffered toast and chewed carefully. His stomach was feeling a little squirmy, but he thought that might actually be from happiness, not the transformation.
"Thanks," he said when he'd finished, and he thought all three of them looked pleased.
Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and James gave a guilty start, wiping crumbs from his hands. "Guess we'd better go," he said.
"See ya later, Remus," Peter said with a shy smile.
"Plenty to do, anyway," Sirius declared briskly. "We just saw Snape heading toward the Owlery..."
Remus groaned. Sirius had already landed himself in detention several times in the last month, and he really didn't need another one. "Sirius," he began, "please swear to me – I know you're about to get up to something no good –"
Sirius' face lit up. "No problem. I swear, Remus – no, I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He gave a little salute and a grin, then followed James, who was already tugging at the sleeve of his robes, Peter trailing behind the two of them, as Madam Pomfrey bore down.
"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey!" James called from the doorway. "That was hardly more than two minutes, really, just like we promised."
Sirius looked back at Remus as James pulled him out of the room and mouthed the words, "Solemnly swear."
Remus dropped his head back against the pillow and laughed to himself, hardly noticing Madam Pomfrey straightening the covers and feeding him another vile but necessary potion.
In all his life, Remus had never felt so good on the morning after a full moon.
THE END